Author Archives: shannon

Words amaze me.

I was working on the WIP today, and I found this sentence buried deep within a chapter.

I have to show you something.

It’s a bit of a weak sentence, but not the worst I’ve ever written or read in a commercial book. Still, it didn’t seem right. I changed it to this.

I have something to show you.

Same words and almost the same meaning, but subtly different. In the first version, the object is slightly more abstract, because it is just “something.” In the second version, the something is in the possession of the speaker–“I have something.” To me, this version of the sentence had more immediacy.

I’m just okay, okay.

file5235ca63a1c56On Facebook today, Adam J Whitlatch was complaining that Words With Friends doesn’t accept [O][K] as a word. This got me thinking about this terrible thing that is OK.

Personally, I’m a big fan of okay. It’s clearly a word denoting agreement or approval.  It’s older relative OK, on the other hand, is not so clear cut.

It’s generally accepted that OK is an acronym of some sort, but no one can quite remember what it’s an acronym of. There are several proposed explanations: one is based on a misspelling, one is based on an abbreviation of the nickname of a presidential candidate. From there, they get farther out claiming that it was a derivative of an abbreviation used in a Choctaw translation of the bible. The best theory in my book was that the word came from Africa and became popular amongst slaves–from voodoon to jazz, slave culture has given us some of the more interesting aspects of American culture.

Wikipedia also notes it could just be scottish. Och aye it could.

My contention is that if the entire word is unsure what an acronym means, it’s not really using those letters as a acronym. It’s just a word using unnecessary upper case letters. I believe we should adopt okay as the one and true okay, mark OK as an archaic spelling, and move forward. Barring that, we should accept “ok” as a valid alternate spelling, not OK as a acronym.

However, as an archaic usage, it should totally be legal in Words With Friends.

A Victorian Haunting

This was not the house we were in, but it kind of looks like it if you squint and turn your head sideways.

This was not the house we were in, but it kind of looks like it if you squint and turn your head sideways.

Friday night, I participated in my first paranormal investigation of the year. I have not yet reviewed the evidence, but enough interesting things happened, I figured it was worth an initial entry while everything was in my head.

One of the most interesting aspects of this investigation was the venue, a pair of old victorian houses which had been combined to form an office building.  We were joined on this investigation by employees who’d had experiences in the building. As soon as we went inside, things were very active. Several times, I would hear someone say something, only to have someone around me freeze and say, “Who just said that?” Not only were we clearly hearing voices, but they were strong enough that we were mistaking them for each other talking.

Before we started the investigation, Cat, a very powerful psychic, felt pulled to one of the upstairs offices. I followed her up to see what was going on. The room she went to was very organized, and Cat said that in life the entity that lived there had loved order and cleanliness, therefore she liked to spend time in that office. One interesting thing Cat said was that the spirit did not like that little fan sitting on the desk. I speculated this might be because some small high-speed motors produced strong electromagnetic fields.

As we were coming down the stairs, I thought the person in front of me said something unintelligible, until she turned around and asked me, “Did you hear that?” and I realized the voice I had heard was not hers.

Another person, a Reiki practitioner who is very spiritually aware, felt a presence with her for most of the night. Cat’s theory was that she reminded the spirit of someone they had known in life and they were attracted to her energy.

We split up into two teams and each took a side of the building, comprised of one of the original houses. My team started in the house we had less historic information about. We did know that it had started as an upper-class home before being divided into multi-unit apartments and finally moved to be attached to the other house for office space. During that time, we had one more “Okay, who said that?” experience, but most of the show was stolen by our psychics who were picking up a lot of activity in almost every room.

During our investigation of the first floor, Cat told us to stay away from one particular office. I asked the employee with our group if the two positions officed there had a high turnover rate, and the employee with us said that they had actually gone through a few people in those jobs in the last couple years, which I assume is higher than average for the kind of work they do.

I know this is sounding a little like the Cat show, but when she is in full tilt, I generally just keep the recorder on her and hope that whatever she’s sensing leaves a message on the recording medium.

For about the next hour, things were pretty much the same. We checked out the rest of the rooms. I recorded. Cat got impressions. The K2 didn’t pick up anything. And the spirit that was following us around followed us around.

Then we switched houses with the other group, who also experienced a lot of activity.

For the next two hours, we got nothing, and neither did the other group. It’s like every spirit in the two houses spent all their energy talking to the first group. It was interesting hanging out in other people’s offices, but beyond that very little happened.

It will be interesting to see if any EVPs came through during the investigation, but I have to be honest, I’m sort of dreading going over the five hours of recording.

Building suspense

file51e162f9801b1It’s really too early in the morning for my writing process, so I’m wasting my precious time procrastinating.

I just opened my WIP, and I was about to do a thing, when I realized the thing I was about to do would make a great lesson. I was about to add suspense to a paragraph.

Now suspense means holding events up to cause mental uncertainty. You can do this in very obvious ways, like ending each paragraph in a cliffhanger, but of course this kind of lewdness only leads to things like bestsellers. You can also do more subtle things, like moving important details to the end of a paragraph. This, of course, doesn’t cause a great deal of mental uncertainty, but it does land the pertinent details at the end of the paragraph, where the reader naturally pauses. This gives an extra millisecond or two to let that detail set in.

So, back to my story. Here is the original paragraph:

Lance turned off the screen and left the little viewing room.  As he stepped into the corridor, he nearly ran into two men who were walking by. Lance recognized one of them and nearly screamed, letting out a little “AH!” sound. He was wearing a white uniform with a gun on its belt, and he had grown a pencil-thin mustache, but he was definitely the same man. The other man was Ed Bennet, the station owner. He had aged since making the video, but it was him.

And here is my edit:

Lance turned off the screen and left the little viewing room.  As he walked into the corridor, he nearly collided with two men. One of them was Ed Bennet, the station owner. He had aged since making the video, but Lance could tell it was him. When Lance realized who the other man was, he nearly screamed, letting out a little “ah” sound. He wore a white uniform now, and he had grown a pencil-thin mustache, but he was definitely the same man, Lance’s guidance counselor, Raul del Rio. He wore a gun on his belt.

The July Update

file51d30b6de8b55

 

I called this the July Update because it’s my first update since June 10th. That’s really good new though. I’ve written 14,000 words in the last three weeks, despite being busy at work.

I’m getting some really good things out of my new draft the science fiction piece, Stuck in the Midpoint–or whatever I’m going to call it. In lieu of better content, I’ll leave whet is, for now, the first few paragraphs.

Lance looked up at the Singapore Station space cannon, a long black tower reaching into the sky. From his perspective on the ground, it could have gone on forever. Orange bumps clung to the side of that tower, hurtling into the heavens at extraordinary rates. Despite the heat, he shivered. Two weeks ago, he had graduated High School. Two days ago, he had been in Indiana. And two days from now, he would be in space.

He ran his hand over his forehead and dried it on his pants. He tapped his wrist Crony. “What is the current temperature in Singapore?”

The little computer on his wrist answered, “It is currently eighty-three degrees in Singapore. Todays high will reach ninety-five.” Well, at least he wasn’t going to be here for that, or he would be, but he’d be in suspended animation and several thousand feet up by that time.

His liaison officer patted him on the shoulder. “Time to get in.” He opened the hatch of the orange cargo container and a blast of hot air poured out. It smelled like something rotten.

Smiling apologetically, the liaison officer said, “Well, it’s not exactly first class.” He motioned for Lance to go inside.

“Um,” Lance said, “do you have a cleaner one?”